Onward with the baby plans. My six days to decide flew by and before I knew it I was at the 12 day ultrasound appointment, smiling in relief when the doctor said “That’s a beautiful, healthy egg”. In hindsight, it might be a little creepy but at the time I was happy to hear it. I’m a stress case. No doubt about it. I don’t do well when I don’t have control and of course, I don’t have control of this. Not really. Going to the doctor this time around is helping my anxiety level immeasurably. It’s indescribably comforting and reassuring to know the timing is right, to know the person performing this little miracle of a science project knows exactly what they’re doing and exactly when they should be doing it. Doing it at home was just too much of shot in the dark for me, literally and metaphorically.
Why, you might be asking, am I trying to get pregnant when I just wrote that my marriage is struggling right now. Well, unless you’re my subconsciousness, you probably won’t understand completely but rest assured I’m not one of those woman who think a baby will fix everything. No siree. I’m just a woman who knows her spouse loves her very much and has faith that rocky patches will come and go but it will all be okay in the end.
And so, we pushed play on the baby number two plan. Fingers are crossed for a successful effort this time around. My anxiety level, my ever-growing pull to experience this joy for myself and our checkbook would all appreciate the respite of a positive test two weeks from now. Since we’re crossing fingers, let’s cross them for a boy too.
1st birthday party was a success…a very expensive success but I got over that eventually. Both our mothers flew in from the Midwest to be here for the party. It was a blessing and a curse to have them here. Mostly a blessing but it was a lot of moms in one house. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve returned. I have no idea where to start. It’s been two months or so since I posted and we’ve been busy.
We took a break from trying for baby #2. I went to a doctor, used by close friends of ours, and have had what feels like a million test run. Luckily, all test say that everything is fine and apparently, I am super fertile but our timing was off. I wasn’t surprised by this AT ALL. It’s why I wanted to go to a doctor in the first place but when you share your life with a nurse, they think they know everything. And frequently, she does, but not this time. So, we’re all set for trying again in May which would yield a February birthday. It wouldn’t be my first choice but I’ll take it. After that, if we’re not successful, we’d take a few months off again.
Why? Well, because my partner and my daughter have April birthdays. Now that I’m half way through the planning birthday experience with two in the month, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having another birthday anywhere near theirs. February is even a little close for my stress level but the idea of waiting another five months before trying again doesn’t work for me either. Soooo….all fingers crossed February takes.
More about these birthdays. My partner is a bit of a princess when it comes to birthdays and any special occasion. It has to be a big deal. It has to be creative. It has to be special. And it better include the extended family. It was a lot of work when her birthday could be the whole focus for months leading up to it but now that our daughter’s birthday is just 15 days later, it’s exhausting!!
We said a simple first birthday party. Not a big deal. She won’t remember it anyway. That’s what we said and then my partner got bit by the first birthday party bug. It’s not simple. It’s not small. It’s not cheap. After a few major fights, I finally just gave in and handed over the credit card.
If I can make to May, I just might sleep for a week straight!